CHILDREN OF BIPOLAR INDIVIDUALS - Should you?

Do you know what it is like to have children and wonder how many of them will be affected with either depression or bipolar disorder because you yourself have passed it on to them......and even further, do you know what it is like to see other disorders which resulted partly from your behavior as they were growing up, esp. NOT KNOWING THAT THEIR FATHER WAS BEATING THEM?   Had I known that I had the disorder, I would have opted not to have children....much as I enjoy each individual....much as I wouldn't give them back......If you know you are bipolar, give some thought to not spreading it on.   You see, I don't really remember a lot about the years that I raised them because I had five ---- his, mine and ours ---- we had custody of them all.  I had to work because I couldn't count on him to be the husband I thought he would be...i.e., faithful, sober, a family man.  I do know I went on 3 hours of sleep a night.   I know that when my youngest hit 6th grade, I returned to college to complete  my degree, with an 18 month diversion to take an ABA approved paralegal course.  These were at night.  I had a full time career with a major oil and gas corporation in the legal department.....paralegal...long hours.  I was moved by the company from Denver to Virginia to OKC to Houston....and then came the day when they allowed me to early retire because I couldn't do my job anymore...too much stress.   During that move to  Virginia-OKC-HST my husband was injured, had several surgeries and once he received his social security wages covering the last five years, he took them and left me with the bills.  He  wouldn't move out of the house that my brother and I were leasing and I left rather than make a scene in front of my daughter an brother.   It was at this point that the depression set in....up until then I had only had mania.  Then the rapid cycling.
Then the loss of job...the self medication...and ten years of denial that there was anything wrong with me.  Several attempts at self destruction.  So, why would I take a chance of passing that on to a child??  Of the three children I gave birth to, one has chronic depression, one has increasing signs of biolar disorder and the jury is out on the third one although she has some damage from her childhood and choices she made which she might not have made if I had been whole.          Is it my fault?              NO.  and, unfortunately, we don't get do-overs.  I love my children.  I was not the worst mom but I wasn't the best either.  My daughter tells me that I am a far better person now than I have ever been.....while my initial reaction to that is a knife through the heart.....I'll take it as a compliment.  It means I've been through hell, worked hard and come out OK....she picked me up off the floor several times.....what a thing to do to a child.     are you sure you want to take that chance?  She's pretty awesome that she has worked to understand the disorder and loves me in spite of it.  I am blessed.