Try, Try Again

I haven't written in my blog much....I let someone affect my actions.  No More.  This is therapeutic for me.

Today I received an email note from a bipolar friend in crisis.  He had gone into a severe depressed state.  I was honored that he contacted me.  It allowed me to give a little of myself to someone else.  I am only sorry that I could not go meet him at the pdoc's office and wait with him.     When your mind cannot be controlled....when you are not sure exactly what is wrong, but you know something is very very wrong.....and, you also know no one but another who has walked in those shoes can understand....it can leave you feeling very alone and vulnerable.  I have been there....it can be terrifying....the worst part is not knowing exactly what is wrong...and then in the midst of it, having a rapid mood cycle....I think if the earth all of a sudden stopped rotating and there was no gravity and we went flying off into space....Yes! That would probably feel like it feels to be in the no man's land of bipolar disorder at its finest.  Who can relate? 

I am glad to report that my friend felt somewhat better after seeing the pdoc.....      but his crisis brought back in my face, my situation and the reality that it can be me at any time.  That is why I need to begin writing again.  It is part of my therapy to stay healthy.  So, let's see how faithful I can be to this journal/blog.
And to my friend, peace, hope, and stability.