These are the oftentimes tumbled thoughts of a bipolar mind going through rapid cycling. You have no idea what it is like to try to think while your thoughts are racing and your opinions are changing as they are being formed. But some of this is just life, depression,anger at being misunderstood and discriminated against, or maybe it's just the medicine or I've just really lost my grip!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The Daughter Eludes Us
Friday, October 26, 2007
My Daughter's Sanity and Safety
Rumors are that she doesn't have any money...that the house is in foreclosure...I know that he didn't have any life insurance. Her business failed because she was so busy running him to the doctor and hospital that she couldn't take care of the business. She, of course, has denied that she has financial trouble...but she has had trouble with the truth lately...and I don't know quite what to believe. So tonight my brother and I drove 35 miles to her house and it was dark and the car was in the garage but the dogs didn't make any noise. It is likely she wasn't there. Tomorrow, her husband's exwife is going over there with the police and a key to check and see what is going on. She told a friend she was moving to Dallas this weekend. I don't know what to think. I have begged her to just call and let me know she is ok. I even explained that worry is causing me to become a little unstable. Hoping I will hear something soon. I am deathly afraid that when the exwife goes over she will find her in there dead. She has been making up background information about herself and posting it on the internet. I know she is not in her right mind. I am really concerned.... It's odd feeling like the sane one.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Heredity -- Bipolar Strikes Again.
I have been under a great deal of stress watching my youngest daughter go through the severe illness (liver disease/alcoholism), death, and funeral of her husband. She has been behaving very strangely -- telling untrue things-- mood swings -- grandiose plans -- spending and money out of control -- This has been going on for some time but increasingly worse in the past three months. Of course she is resistant to any suggestion that she has a problem...Her sister and brother and I have all spoken to her and her reaction was one of anger. She is exhibiting delusional behavior now and I discussed it with my pdoc who said that it sounds like she is definitely bipolar possibly with borderline personality disorder. Just waiting to hear that she is in big trouble and then telling the authorities that she is the daughter of a bipolar person in treatment and that she needs psychiatric help. If I had known I was bipolar, I wouldn't have had children -- I wouldn't have passed this on to another person. As it is, two of my three chiildren are...the third one has a problem with depression. Go figure..


