IN MY LOST MOMENTS
In my lost moments
I see your face
look into your eyes
of willow green -- with
butterflies in my stomach,
recalling: “Those Eyes! "
"They will be my undoing."
A self-fulfilling prophecy
accurately made.
But to our amazement,
it wasn‘t one-way.
We were not only
compatible lovers
but friends and much more.
We were soulmates.
Every now and then,
I feel your breath
and sense your presence all about.
Quickly the moment is gone.
As are you, except in my mind.
Michele Jajdelski Campbell
copyright July 29, 2007
July 29 1997 was the date that I lost Tim, my soulmate. Life goes on and I have found that I do not really want another husband. I have a good friend whom I spend time with but if he were to get serious I would probably run like hell! Once you have found that one true relationship, it's hard to accept anything less....I am happy with my life and, let's face it, after several attempts at finding the right husband, I'm not eager to try it again. I had four in all. The first one was just for a short time in college -- he left the minute he found out I was pregnant. The second one lasted for three years -- I married him to get out of my mother's house honestly and he is a nice guy but we were a bad combo. The third one lasted for 23 years...an alcoholic and carouser -- I finally had enough once all the kids were grown...although he got hurt and I was staying the course and he asked for a divorce...I just finally agreed. Then I met Tim. Sixteen years my junior, Irish 100%, dark hair, green eyes, great dancer, and loved to party -- I did say he was Irish, right? He was artistic and creative, could sing and could sell you anything. ..... which was good because that was what he did for a livng. outside sales. We were happily together for four years until he had an auto accident -- and died from complications of surgery after we thought he was completely better three months later. It was sudden. I had to make a decision whether or not they should try to perform yet another surgery which might kill him and would have left him paralyzed, and with some serious health complications. He would have been angry to live that way. I told them no. Well he didn't make it without the surgery either which was a risk too. But I know I made the right choice. So ten years later I wrote the poem you just read. He is still in my heart and mind. Someday, I'll see him on the "other side". and he'll be singing
"Born to be Wild" to someone's karaoke machine! He was always good at that one. He was fun and funny. Used to call me up and pretend to be someone with an accent like the Chinese laundryman and give me a song and dance about the terrible stain on my slacks that he was so solly he made mess with red goo, etc and go on and on and I would really believe it was the cleaners...or he would never bring ordinary flowers...always some exotic looking thing and he'd know the name of it and how to care for it. He took me to a rustic diner for one of my birthdays where they served me a steak with a large candle in the middle or it...I just have such good memories that he hasn't faded in my mind...and I do sense his presence now and then...but then maybe that's a bipolar hallucination! Thanks for listening to me ramble on. I'm going now. Bye til next time.
In my lost moments
I see your face
look into your eyes
of willow green -- with
butterflies in my stomach,
recalling: “Those Eyes! "
"They will be my undoing."
A self-fulfilling prophecy
accurately made.
But to our amazement,
it wasn‘t one-way.
We were not only
compatible lovers
but friends and much more.
We were soulmates.
Every now and then,
I feel your breath
and sense your presence all about.
Quickly the moment is gone.
As are you, except in my mind.
Michele Jajdelski Campbell
copyright July 29, 2007
July 29 1997 was the date that I lost Tim, my soulmate. Life goes on and I have found that I do not really want another husband. I have a good friend whom I spend time with but if he were to get serious I would probably run like hell! Once you have found that one true relationship, it's hard to accept anything less....I am happy with my life and, let's face it, after several attempts at finding the right husband, I'm not eager to try it again. I had four in all. The first one was just for a short time in college -- he left the minute he found out I was pregnant. The second one lasted for three years -- I married him to get out of my mother's house honestly and he is a nice guy but we were a bad combo. The third one lasted for 23 years...an alcoholic and carouser -- I finally had enough once all the kids were grown...although he got hurt and I was staying the course and he asked for a divorce...I just finally agreed. Then I met Tim. Sixteen years my junior, Irish 100%, dark hair, green eyes, great dancer, and loved to party -- I did say he was Irish, right? He was artistic and creative, could sing and could sell you anything. ..... which was good because that was what he did for a livng. outside sales. We were happily together for four years until he had an auto accident -- and died from complications of surgery after we thought he was completely better three months later. It was sudden. I had to make a decision whether or not they should try to perform yet another surgery which might kill him and would have left him paralyzed, and with some serious health complications. He would have been angry to live that way. I told them no. Well he didn't make it without the surgery either which was a risk too. But I know I made the right choice. So ten years later I wrote the poem you just read. He is still in my heart and mind. Someday, I'll see him on the "other side". and he'll be singing
"Born to be Wild" to someone's karaoke machine! He was always good at that one. He was fun and funny. Used to call me up and pretend to be someone with an accent like the Chinese laundryman and give me a song and dance about the terrible stain on my slacks that he was so solly he made mess with red goo, etc and go on and on and I would really believe it was the cleaners...or he would never bring ordinary flowers...always some exotic looking thing and he'd know the name of it and how to care for it. He took me to a rustic diner for one of my birthdays where they served me a steak with a large candle in the middle or it...I just have such good memories that he hasn't faded in my mind...and I do sense his presence now and then...but then maybe that's a bipolar hallucination! Thanks for listening to me ramble on. I'm going now. Bye til next time.
