Graduation Time in San Diego

That is Kathryn holding onto her cap. My granddaughter justgraduated from High Tech High International in San Diego, CA.

It is a small charter school with emphasis on international focus designed by a group of San Diego educators and business leaders. It is linked with business and the program provides personalized, project-based learning environments where all students are known well and challenged to meet high expectations. She has done fantastic work at this school including an immersion one-week trip to Italy this year. Congratulations to her and, it is too bad that all schools do not employ this type of learning environment. Kathryn prepared video presentations, slides, films etc and worked in groups during her time at HTHI.

I was in San Diego for this celebration and had a wonderful time. My son and his fiance-to-be, and his sons as well as my youngest daughter who was giving me so much cause for concern a few weeks ago were both there. The youngest was like a new person...or shall I say...like the person she used to be that I so loved. We spent a day at the beach, a day at the zoo, had a birthday party for my son-in-law's mother, Mary whom I am very fond of. My youngest and my son made a wonderful Mexican dinner one night --- they were cooking for four hours that afternoon and the food was to die for, Sunday we went to a Padres-Red Sox game which was good except the Sox won. But the dark chocolate/raspberry sunday at Ghiardelli's afterwards sure was excellent! We swam and lounged in the sun and a good time was had by all.

I got back on Monday of this week and the girls were glad to see me and it was good to be home.

I had a little trouble sleeping once home. All the excitement has raised my level of anxiety and I am a little on the manic side. Have been very active since my return.

MOOD DISORDERS - SLEEP DEPRIVATION - ADOLESCENCE

"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." (William Dement, 1959)


I was intrigued by the quote and looked up some information on the author. Briefly, I learned from the internet the following:

Professor of Psychiatry William C. Dement has been at Stanford since 1963, and has worked in the sleep area since 1952. Through his studies it was learned that there is a major shift in circadian rhythms in early adolescence. There is a marked circadian phase delay. This means that with the traditional high school schedules, adolescents start school too early, leave school too early, go to bed too late, and must get up in the morning far too early to obtain adequate sleep. Sleep is a core process that is involved in mood regulation, cognitive performance, and health in general. The traditional high school schedule is a major factor in severe sleep deprivation, mood disorders, drug use, and dropping out. He is currently pursuing this agenda intensely as a public policy issue, and working with members of the United States Congress and members of the California State Legislature as well as other venues.

Great quote:

And remember my motto;
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body .
But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand,
Diet Coke in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO what a ride!"
Have a wonderful day!

The Loss

Don't you hate it when you lose your mind
and no one seems to notice
that you can't function "normally."

And they want you to go on through the day
as if nothing had happened.
And you are crying inside hysterically.

The fear of losing control of your world
The confusion where things start to blur
You're holding on to sanity vehemently.

They think you can control the thoughts
and the pain and the panic
that you are in mentally and physically.

They want to know "Where's your smile?"
"Now that's more like it. Just Relax.
"Things will work out wonderfully!"

I don't smile because I grieve.
I lost a part of me.
And I grieve for her...TRAGICALLY.

She may not have meant much to you,
but she was all I had and I loved her.
I miss her and shed a tear for my loss.

Michele JajdelskiCampbell
Copyright June 2007

Well, not a peep from youngest daughter. Apparently she has settled down her life for the moment. Talked to my oldest daughter, M and she was thrilled that she is finally getting to change her grade that she is teaching. She has been stuck on a teaching team with a psychotic teacher which has made the last three years quite difficult. So she is looking forward to the next term. She teaches in a district where they have year-round school and she is currently off for four weeks. She has prepared a fun time for our family gathering; one day at the zoo and Balboa Park; one day at the beach; one day for graduation and party; one game of Padres vs. Red Sox; I am really looking forward to seeing all of my "kids" together and all the grandchildren at one time. Hopefully youngest daughter is coming through.

My therapist told me about a personality test given by the Enneagram Institute...They are a group that have a theory on personality and its function in life. They have worked in the theories of some of the psychologists and behaviorialists of over a long period of time. It is interesting. I took the test for $10 and it did the scoring. We are going to use it in session to see if it is useful at all in
looking at behavior patterns, etc. It should be interesting. If anybody is interested in this kind of thing it is on the internet at Enneagram Institute.com

All else is normal...whatever that is. I cannot get motivated to walk in this heat. I have been exercising some in the pool. I have been having some wine here and there...probably not a good idea - at least my psychiatrist wouldn't think so...but it doesn't seem to have bothered anything

Well I'm off to work on the embroidery wedding sampler for the couple who is getting married on June 23 in a quiet family ceremony here in Texas and then going to Vegas to get married on July 1. the date that is going on the wedding sampler. The original plan was to get married in Vegas on July 1 because John doesn't want to forget his anniversary and July 1 is his birthday. It could be complicated having a legal wedding date and a celebrating one but I wish them the best.

ASKING FOR PRAYERS

Anyone who follows this blog and read about my brother's accident with the table saw ---
and who believes in a higher power, please pray that there be a marked improvement in the recovery of the third finger. The second surgery which replaced the tendon was successful; however, it left so much scar tissue that no further surgeries are possible. If the finger doesn't work this time, he will lose it. And it is not progressing as well as the therapist and doc would like. Please, God, don't let Bill have another loss.

Thought for the day: Some people miss the silver lining because they are too busy looking for the gold.

Has anyone heard of the Enneagram institute RHETI version personality tests? Quite interesting theory. Being utilized by psychologists and there is quite a history to the theory g oing way back. Makes for interesting reading. At anyrate, My therapist suggested that I take the $10 test to see where I fall so we could do some work on that theory.... Turns out that I tied a three way tie as to the type I am and the y have offered me a free retake of the test in they suggest one or two weeks. The funny this was when taking the test I felt compelled to answer more than one answer a s correct.... wondered at the time if I had a split personality. ha!
This should prove an interesting study for my Ph.D and me as we follow this along the path.

Meanwhile, I am fast and furious embroidering the marriage sampler for John and Allison's wedding and it is looking beautiful. My son is mentioning he is buying a stone for a ring for his girlfriend so I should be looking for another wedding sampler I guess. Things seem quiet on the western front as to the youngest daughter. My brother is laying bets that she doesn't go.
I'm hoping in a way that he is right. Although it would be nice to have the entire family together.
I',m just praying for peace. Sayonara....

LOOKING FOR COMMENTS..... PLEASE

Nothing has changed. Daughter No 2 is still causing havoc in the family. This all started with her stating she had bought me a ticket to CA to my granddaughter's graduation...first class, round trip Houston San Diego. Now, keep in mind, the most this ticket can cost is $980. I kept asking her to send me via email the itinerary (which would have indicated the ticket was paid for as well) so I could make my plans. And she kept saying she would send it...she just "got too busy to do it". Well my brother suspecting such ticket didn't exist told me if I didn't have the itinerary by a certain day he was buying my ticket. I let her know. She didn't send the itinerary, he bought the ticket and now she is raising holy hell with me about how she is out $1700 for the ticket she bought. In emails to her sister, the amount she is out has varied from $1500 to $2500!) She did a similar thing about making reservations at a hotel for her brother and she is telling daughter no 1 she will be civil to me but "after all she has done for me, she is through." I am still trying to figure out what she has done for me??? All of us are rather on pins and needle wondering what to expect instead of looking forward to the wonderful three days of events daughter no 1 has planned. By the way, if I didn't mention it, daughter no. 2 has a severe drinking problem.

The bottom line is that she has made what should be a happy family occasion a nightmare for daughter no1 -- has set my bipolar state into a full blown episode of insomnia and mania --
She has made it all about her...and it should be all about my granddaughter. I so far have said nothing to her but am tempted to write and tell her exactly that: S: It's not about you.

Any comments would be appreciated.

Self Medication Affects Everybody

kids on alcohol
can definitely
make or render
you and your family
crazy, nuts, insane, incoherent!

My daughter is driving me into an episode of rapid cycling and panic attacks with her alcoholic self medication of a bad marital relationship, excessive stress of carrying the whole load of the partnership business. She has pretty much isolated herself from her family support system except to call and complain about things that are wrong with her life and refuses to listen to observations, or suggestions about what might be needed or wanting. She has called and been rude, hung up on me and accused all of us of not liking her husband....The whole family is in a state of uproar...being bipolar, I'm uproaring a little more than the rest/ I resent her lack of respect and care for me and my own illness. but recognize alcoholism is an illness of its own. Lord grant me the serenity....