Paradox

The shot must be the best thing that has happened in several months for this shoulder. Starting on Monday therapy became easier and I could do more, i.e., the range of motion has increased. Then tonight while I was trying something in the pool I actually felt something pull away...like it had been stuck together and I could move my hand about three inches further. It was the weirdest feeling. But I'm not complaining. I'm elated. Happiness is thinking I will put my hand behind me and being able to get that hand all the way back there.

My mood has picked up with the added antidepressant. In fact, I am on the edge of being a little manic. My thought patterns are scrambled and concentration is a little difficult but all in all if I concentrate I can hold it together. I am thinking of dropping back to taking the half dose every other day and see what that does. I like being happy but there is sucha thing as too happy ---- as some of us know all too well. (smiles)

I have been playing the piano a bit. No doubt that will come back and bite me in the rear. I always think I will start practicing again and I will become good like I used to be and then I let myself down. So I am telling myself I am only playing for today. I hate that I have lost the self discipline to carry through with a practice schedule. Sometimes I just can't make myself do it. It reminds me too much of what I used to be like and if in a low mood I get into that mourn the loss of yourself mood-- which I hate -- and there we go. Music is a very large part of who I am. And I'm afraid to play. There's a paradox.

FROZEN STILL, SERIOUSLY

I think I mentioned back about four weeks ago that I had a frozen shoulder...Well after four weeks of 3x week physical therapy and doing the exercises at home on the other days, plus working in the pool, I have slowly -- and I DO MEAN SLOWLY, regained part of the range of motion in my right shoulder. However, the pain is still there, and it hurts like a big dog. Have some ultracet and won't take anything any stronger. The ultracet doesn't touch it, so I don't take that. It really is frustrating. Combo of the constant pain and doing all the exercises has made me tense up every muscle in my neck/shoulders/back until it is as hard as a hunk of steel. I'm thinking right now of calling my friend Nicole, the massage therapist and making
an appointment. This has also played hell with my Bipolar....Mood swing downward and had to adjust my antidepressant some, at least temporarily. I don't have much enthusiasm for anything. Dr. Sunkureddi (pdoc) says that the increased meds should even that out in a few days. Sure hope he is right cause I'm tired of feeling like this. Noticed I haven't written on here
since end of May. As to the shoulder, I met with the orthopedic Dr and she gave me a shot of cortisone in the shoulder, prescribed 4 weeks, 3x week therapy and said it was going to take more time but that the shot would likely help a lot. I'm wondering why we didn't do that last month???? Anybody figure out that patient I'm not?

Started, FINALLY, the 4 picture boxes sort out. Two of the boxes were full of either loose pictures or pictures in their envelopes with negatives. No order to any of it. The ones in the envelopes covered 1992-1999. The loose ones were from any time you can imagine! actually, 1925-2002. I sorted them out, had a box for each of my five children., a box for me, and a few
special stacks for certain people, e.g., pictures for my nephew of him and his parents together when he was a baby (before they divorced). figure he might like to have them. But I am wool
gathering......Back to the point. Now I will sort the two other boxes containing old albums
(about two linear feet) pictures from 1964(and earlier)--1992. Sort intochildren's and my boxes first. Then I will buy albums and make special albums for each one for Christmas this year. They will have pictures of themselves when they were growing up. and I won't have as many pictures here . They will be here at Thanksgiving...I may give them to them then instead. Maybe all this suffling of pictures will thaw my shoulder. haha.